Phantom Cruise- Chapter 5

A/N: I own nothing except the insanity in my own head:)

Thanks a million for the new alerts/reviews and for continuing on to chapter 5! I'm truly appreciative! *hugs* I hope you enjoy it since it took long enough getting here.

I had planned on having it done earlier, but some unexpected things happened so...here we are.

I am already working on chapter 6 so maybe it won't be too long before it's posted.

I may even start a playlist for the story xD! Maybe...

As always, please let me know what you think!

Chapter 5
~Alice~

Zero, un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf, dix…..
Edward shot me a glare. I would have been a little intimidated if I didn't know I could kick his ass any day with or without his speed. He's all theatrics which is why I wasn't worried about what I was hiding from him; I knew I was doing the right thing, he'd get over it and thank me later not to mention the insane bonus that it would spare the rest of us his moral, emo bullshit. But I had to keep it hidden until it was done or he would get all Vampire in Sparkly Armor and mess everything up.
Ichi, ni, san, shi, go, rook, shichi, hachi, kyuu, ju- and on and on it went until I'd counted to one hundred in over thirty different languages.

Edward either couldn't take it anymore or finally realized I wasn't going to crack and think about what I was definitely  not going to think about - or maybe it was both - and came over to sit in the lounge chair beside me at the pool's edge. I was enjoying the rare opportunity to soak up the warmth of the sun whereas Edward was just there to find out what I was hiding. Our glittering skin shimmered off the clear blue water in a thousand rainbow-colored reflections that danced across the occupants of the pool. Some of them, like the mermaids - hired as staff on the ship to entertain the guests - looked beautiful and majestic glowing in our diamond beams. Others just looked impossibly more freakish. I glanced at the minotaur, saw how the reflections lit up his fuzzy-looking, yellow teeth and wrinkled my nose in disgust. Not to mention that he was eyeing me in my black bikini in a very unsettling sex-for-dinner kind of way. I had to think of something funny to counteract the disturbing images plaguing my consciousness.

"I'll make it quick Alice. Whatever it is you're hiding from me- just spit it out now," Edward demanded in a hard voice as he sat back feigning patience in his poolside lounger. "And stop picturing the minotaur in a sequined pink thong dancing to Lady Gaga," he added, disgustedly.

"You have to admit, it would be amusing," I said dreamily.
"Do you know he's imagining you doing the exact same thing?" Edward countered.
i cut my eyes in him in a death stare. "Liar."

He smiled angelically, enjoying my discomfort just a little. "Really. Poker Face. Sadly, he knows all the words."
I laid my head back in my chair trying not to let the illustration Edward painted disturb me, but that was shot to hell when he started quietly singing, "You'll get him hard, show him what you got-"
I exploded in the minotaur's direction. "Not happening you filthy, hygienically challenged beast!" His glazed eyes re-focused as he turned in my direction confused. Edward burst out in an emphatic explosion of laughter, the first time he'd seemed really at ease since the night before.

It was the first time he'd left Bella in hours, but for all that time that he refused to leave her, he also refused to get within ten feet of her or touch her afraid that he would hurt her again. Ridiculous. Edward relaxed back into his chair switching back to his patient demeanor. I sighed, knowing he was waiting for me to give him information.

"Do we really have to go through this Edward?" I asked turning my head in his direction and sliding my over-sized shades up into my spiky black hair. "Why don't you just ask me who wins this little game, I'll say me and you can be on your way." I smiled briefly while wrinkling my nose in what Jasper repeatedly told me was "the cutest damn thing" he'd ever seen.

Edward stopped with the act of patience and bolted out of his chair getting right in my face about an inch from my nose. Ever since the incident with Bella, Edward had been all wound up and even though it was obvious to everyone else, he kept trying to hide it. Until now.

"I can't take this!" he shouted."You know something and so help me God, Alice, if you don't tell me and something happens to Bella I'll-"

I didn't interrupt.

I sat serenely waiting for him to continue. He didn't.

"You'll what, Edward?" I inquired passively, as if it was of no importance to me. Because I knew there was nothing he could say, nothing he could do. Except hurt himself which he would definitely do if he lost Bella. It goes back to that whole theatrics thing he has going on.

It was almost like a vision; I saw how deflated he was at that moment. How the realization that he was entirely helpless defeated him. Right then, it all came crashing down for Edward. He'd thought that almost killing Bella was the worst moment of his existence and even though it was unquestionably at the top of the list, this realization that he was powerless to stop it from happening again, that he couldn't constantly protect Bella from everything, or even do anything that would make a difference should something happen to her- it was devastating for him. He was trapped and it was the end. There was nowhere else to go unless you counted 'in circles' as a final destination.

He'd left Bella once and it almost killed them both. If he took her life, whether by accident or on purpose, it would inevitably disintegrate him just the same as it would if anything else hurt her and he couldn't stop it. Because Edward would take all the blame, all the grief, all the responsibility and he'd roll it up into a ball and set himself on fire with it and revel in the flames until they consumed him entirely. If he left her, it would be their end- if he stayed, it would be their end also. That is why I knew I was doing this emo bastard a favor.
Edward looked past the only solution there was thinking that it was the most selfish, deplorable thing he could do. But for Bella, it was the only answer. He was denying them both the chance of eternal happiness, denying Bella the one thing she wanted most in all the world, all because he didn't want to feel  selfish? How fucked up is that? Isn't that kind of selfish in itself?

While Edward was busy getting his doom and gloom on, I came to the realization that my brother was a really talented masochist. Edward would undoubtedly take home the Oscar, the Emmy and the Teen Choice Award for that shit. He was making himself, Bella and all the rest of us miserable with his attempt at trying to do the right thing. He was doing what he'd always thought would have been the better thing for him- staying human, never becoming a vampire, dying in nineteen eighteen. That was his belief, the choice he would have made if he would have been given a choice. But there was no choice for Edward. He did exist, he was a vampire, he met Bella and they fell in love.

She was choosing the path that was right for her and the very person she wanted from it - and wanted it from for that matter - was standing in her way. I wanted to tell Edward to suck it up and make it official, but I didn't think he'd appreciate the pun considering he'd nearly drained all the life out of his one true love so instead I just kept my little secret, wrapped my arms around my brother's neck and told him everything was going to be fine. "Trust me," I whispered.

He sat back down in his chair and, after a moment, seemed to relax because he knew that he could. Trust me, that is. I loved Bella, too and I would never put her in unnecessary danger; Edward knew that. I got a little twinge of guilt, wondering if I was really doing the right thing, but it passed quickly. It was too late now. It was already happening. I didn't want to think about it with Edward so near so I straightened out the worried lines on my face, pulled down my shades and sang just loud enough for Edward and I to hear. "Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker face."

~Edward~
"Trust Me." That's what Alice said to me before the world ended. She assured me that everything would be fine and like an imbecile, I trusted her judgement blindly. I should have shaken the information out of her tiny little head and then maybe I could have stopped it. All it would have taken is a day or two for the Salvatore's blood to circulate out of her system and she would have been fine. When I discovered what Damon had done to Bella I fully intended to reach down his throat, grab his pancreas and pull it out of his mouth while simultaneously shoving a stake up his-

"Edward that's enough!" Sookie yelled, storming into the washroom with me. It was the one place I thought I would get some privacy, but I was, once again, wrong. She came over and squatted down on the floor right in front of where I was sulking. She spoke gently, but in that no-nonsense kind of way that you often hear in the voice of mothers. "I know you love Bella and I know you didn't want this life for her, but sitting in here dreaming up ways to torture Damon is no way to spend your night. Bella needs you there when she wakes up."

I'm sure I must have looked at her with an ocean of anguish in my eyes at the thought of seeing Bella lying broken on the floor again. It was the most unbearable thing I've ever witnessed when I realized I'd almost killed her and sat holding her, watching her shallow and sporadic breaths come and go. But that was before I saw her with a broken neck, her colorless, distorted body sprawled on the floor of our big white room. That image was infinitely more horrifying. I'd left her only for a little while (to find out what the hell Alice was keeping from me) with the Salvatore brothers standing watch outside the room. That wasn't entirely just to make sure she didn't get out; I was more worried about what I might do to her so I asked them to stay as protection for Bella from me.

What I wasn't aware of, but should have been, is that Bella needed protection from the depravity of Damon possibly more than she needed it from anything else, but I let my gratefulness for his help in saving her cloud my earlier - and clearly more accurate - opinion of him. I wouldn't even go near her in that room. She would move to try to get close to me and I would back away, always keeping a careful distance between us. She told me she wasn't mad, that she loved me. She asked me repeatedly why I didn't just turn her myself and I tried to explain, but she's ludicrous in the way she regards me so, of course, she didn't listen. I tried to tell her that if I were to bite her, I doubt there's any way at all that I could stop before I killed her. I was already fighting hard against the severe urge to taste her blood again; there would be no hope for her if I did.

When we bite into human flesh, our natural predator instincts kick into high gear and the thrill from tearing at her skin, sucking out her blood- I was afraid it would be too much, that I wouldn't be able to control it. She had to point out that I did stop before I killed her when her lip was bleeding, but I couldn't allow that line of thought to make me feel any less repulsive about myself. I hadn't bitten her then and the blood was flowing only a little at a time- it's not the same thing. Not to mention the fact that she never made a move to stop me which might have had much more dire consequences, as if the situation weren't already catastrophic. When our prey fights against us, that only intensifies our desire to consume them both literally and figuratively.

I could never completely reconcile my feelings on the issue of Bella becoming a vampire because, while I never wanted this empty shell of a life for her, it would have been easier for us to be together if I weren't regularly putting her life in danger. I made the biggest mistake of all when I put her life in the hands of Damon Salvatore and yet, even in my rage - even though the dominant part of me wanted to rip his body piece by piece - there was still a tiny selfish part of me that rejoiced at the fact that, soon, it would no longer be necessary for me to resist and endure the scorching pain of hunger. I had to get back to Bella, but I had a cacophony of emotions to deal with before I could face her again. She would need to see me strong and resolved, not the appalling, pathetic mess I was when Sookie found me.

"I know. My brothers and Carlisle are watching her now. I just needed…"
Bella. I just needed Bella back. Exactly the way she was. Edward, Sookie thought somewhat cautiously. She placed her hand in mine, silently asking for me to look at her.
Have you thought about the fact that Bella's going to be…different - from your family?


That was my main source of regret for not turning her myself. It was like the universe was saying "this is what you get for not giving her what she wanted to begin with." And that's exactly what it was. I finally understood what Bella (and everyone else) had been trying to tell me all along; that what I thought was an empty shell and a poor imitation of life wouldn't have been that for Bella. It would have been full and complete because she would have been able to have me forever in all the ways she wanted me. And I would have seen it in the same light if I had not been so consumed with the belief that our existence is wrong and unnatural. It wouldn't have been unnatural or empty at all for me with Bella by my side. Any way that Bella can exist - even undead vampire beauty - is better than not having her at all for she was my only reason to continue existing in the first place. That epiphany was staring me in my pretty sparkly face the whole damn time, only now it was too late to matter. My misery, all the torment of the last century and especially the last day, seemed to flow in a silent circle between Sookie and I. She, being the only one who could truly feel and understand the depth of my sorrow, stayed with me until it was time to go back to Bella to wait for the unknown.

I walked Sookie back to her room so she could be there with Bill when he woke up for the evening before anxiously departing for Carlisle's cabin where Bella and the rest of my family were. I could hear everyone's thoughts as I approached, but most dominant among them all were Jacob's being that they were screaming the loudest.

… Bella always finds the most worthless, degenerate assholes to mess with? At least Edward didn't want to turn her into a filthy leech, but nooo, Bella can't rest until she's some vicious, blood-draining monster and now she's probably dead. Unless she attacks me when she wakes up. If my blood would turn her into something other than a vampire, I'd gladly let her kill me. But it won't so I'll have to settle for tearing Damon apart...
If there were any bright to side to this at all, it would be the fact that there was, finally, a vampire that Jacob hated more than me. Damon would be entirely too easy to eliminate with the dog by my side. Although, he'd probably just turn on me the second the stake hit Damon's heart. Not that I didn't deserve it.

It was quite a conundrum meeting the Salvatore's and Sookie's vampires. They were so different from us and looking inside their mind's was fascinating and, at times, revolting. Learning how they operated, the different talents they possessed that we did not*, seeing their thought processes for myself; it was like going to a foreign country and learning about a different culture. That's what it would be like when Bella awoke. I would have to learn everything I could about this different breed of vampire. As much as I vacillated between thanking and killing Damon, at that thought, I had to go with the latter when I realized she wouldn't be able to walk in the day, she would be vulnerable to staking and more importantly, her first feed would have to be on a human or she would die what Sookie's vampires called "the true death." I had to talk to Carlisle immediately to see if we could find a way around this. Jacob's thoughts had inspired an idea. I quickly went from Anti-Bellapire to being her biggest advocate.

When I walked into my parents' room everyone was outwardly solemn, but the thoughts were utter and complete chaos. Once they set eyes on me, everyone, with the exception of Jacob, immediately tried to hide what they were thinking. Alice began counting in Arabic, Jasper automatically went into mood control mode, Esme was just worried period, Carlisle was calm with his mind refreshingly blank, Rose was admiring herself in the glossy reflection of the small china cabinet in the left corner of the room while Emmett went from reminiscently envisioning a human Bella tripping up the single stair into our kitchen to picturing Rose in a compromising position and upon realizing his mistake, switched tracks again by thinking of his precious jeep. I wasn't in any mood to acknowledge anyone except my father. I glanced at Bella briefly to see her lying on the bed as if she were sleeping, but knowing she wasn't, I couldn't stand the sight.

"Carlisle, may I speak with you privately?"

He nodded silently and followed me back out of the room. "What is it, son?" he asked once we were outdoors.
"I have an idea I wanted to run by you." He was attentive as always so I went on without pause. "You realize the Salvatore's are different from us and that Bella will be like them."

He nodded his head once with a solemn expression, his thoughts making clear exactly how aware he was. It had been bothering him, too.
"She would need to feed on a human in order to complete the transformation and," I stopped, my voice cracking. "I can't lose her, Carlisle."

"Edward," Carlisle started gently, "are you asking me to allow innocent humans to die for this? The only humans on this ship now are Elena and Sookie. We can't compromise who we are. Not even for Bella."
They were hard words spoken gently and sympathetically. It would have been heartbreaking if that were what I was asking.

"No, no Carlisle- you misunderstand. I don't want that either, but I believe there may be a way to prevent it. It's worth a try at least."

Carlisle looked skeptical only for a moment, but quickly became open-minded, willing to hear any idea that might make it possible to have Bella back and spare innocent people. I readied myself for Carlisle's possible objection of the idea before I opened my mouth to speak.

"I want to inject Bella with my venom."

Carlisle was silent, quickly molling it over in his head. "I'm not sure what-"
"I know there's no guarantee it'll do anything, but it can't get any worse can it?" I could hardly bear to say it, but I had to drive the point. "She might die either way. And if she doesn't, someone innocent will. Bella won't be able to live with that on her conscience and neither can I. We have to try something." I spoke earnestly, compellingly; begging him with my eyes.

Carlisle nodded once again, his thoughts just as hopeful and desperate as mine. "We'll have to ask Alice if she can see how this will go."

I didn't like having to ask Alice anything about Bella because in many ways, I blamed her for allowing this to happen, but I knew that Alice's sight would come in handy and also, as much as I hated to admit it, that her intentions were good.

"I'm sorry," Alice lamented for the millionth time. "I just can't see her. I can see that by doing this, it changes things, but it's all a blur. The scenarios change almost as instantly as they come!" Alice exclaimed.
She was exasperated and nervous with her lack of sight which gave way to a lot of rambling. Logical rambling, but rambling nonetheless.

"I'm thinking…because there's never been two different breeds of vampire melded together to make whatever this would make Bella, I can't see what will happen. I'm no help to you here. I can see a little of what will happen when she wakes up, which should be in an hour and a thirty-four seconds, by the way, but when I try to picture your little science experiment, everything gets hazy." Alice dropped her head down into her hands, whispered hopelessly, "I'm sorry."

I left the comforting to Carlisle and Jasper while I paced the floor wondering when we could get started. Alice's lack of sight did not deter me from wanting to take action. As a matter of fact, it spurred me on. I saw her visions as she saw them and while she was right about the scenarios changing too rapidly to ascertain, the fact that they were there at all and none of them seemed to contain a clear future where Bella died, I couldn't help but be the tiniest bit optimistic. I had a second of doubt, thinking that  none of the future was clear with any of the visions, but I pushed it aside. If I didn't hold onto that one tiny shred of hope, I would lose it entirely.

I was just about to go speak with Carlisle again when I heard a set of thoughts approaching that I'd just recently become more attuned to. I darted to the door, ready to shed skin from bone when Alice's back beat against it, abruptly slamming it back into place. "Don't!" she screamed. "He means to help. Let him."
Even through my fury, I could see the truth in Alice's vision.

"He did this and he feels terrible. Let him help make it right," Alice plead.
I gave her a steely gaze, unclenched my jaw and managed to quietly work out the words, "there's nothing anyone can do to make this  right." I opened the door effortlessly even with Alice putting all her strength into keeping it closed and stormed out the door.

I ran at Damon with every ounce of speed and strength that I could muster and hit him square in the chest with a force so powerful it sent both of us catapulting through the warm night air. The gust of wind I created as I flew into him knocked Elena back into a large white column that was helping to hold the little underpass they were walking through and luckily, she had enough sense to wrap her arms around it to slow her descent to the ship floor; she wasn't hurt thankfully.

I righted myself quickly and continued at a brisk walk as though nothing had happened. Damon had landed so hard he'd fallen through two floors of the steel ship- I could see it all so clearly in his mind. His body was stuck through with hundreds of eviscerated shards of the ship floor, but he would live for now, leaving only his pride injured. He could still help Bella once he healed and that was the only reason I didn't kill him right away.
Well, there was one other reason.

Experimentation.
Carlisle had drawn a few syringes of venom from inside my mouth and the little glass vials clanked gently against one another as I walked making a quiet tinkling noise in my pocket. I wrapped a hand around the empty one I'd just injected into Damon as we flew backward through the air praying, for the first time in a century, that they were the answer I was looking for. I pulled Damon's ring-of-not-burning* out of my pocket and eyed the elaborate, serpentine "S" inlaid in the lapis lazuli jewel in the center.
I'd just made Damon Salvatore my Exhibit A.

*When Edward talks about the other vampires possessing different talents, he means compulsion. Damon, Stefan, Eric, Pam & Bill can all compel humans to do or believe whatever they want them to. The Cullens do not have that power and even if they did, does anybody really think they'd use it? Also, Eric can fly so Edward might have been talking about that, too :)

*Damon's ring of not burning- can't remember if I mentioned this before, but Stefan and Damon have rings that allow them to walk in the day. I think I did mention it earlier in the story, but just in case, here it is.

So, what do you think?

What will happen to Damon with Edward's venom in his system and no ring to walk in the sun?

How do you think Stefan will feel about what Edward has done to Damon and do you think Alice saw what Edward was planning in a vision?

What do you think will or should happen with Bella?

And who wants more Eric in this bitch? :D

Thanks, as always for reading! I heart you guys hard core!

I'm hard at work on the next chapter so those of you that review, I'll send you a kickass sneak peak at Chapter 6!

I promise it won't be a crappy teaser like the last one I sent out - yeah, I'm still apologizing for that.